Cam & Cal

Livin' the C^2 Dream

Never Ever Use Bacos

My heart is thumping hard just thinking about it: Bac-os! I don’t know how to explain my dramatic distaste and disgust for such an additive ‘food’. Let’s not even call it food, please.
Don’t mistake my extreme adjectives for ingratitude of southern, texan and even western hospitality. I am merely a purest. Don’t you want real food, too?Want to add a little bacon flavor? Add bacon. Simple as that. Or don’t add anything at all.
Example time! If you asked your love for flowers and he comes in with fake flowers, what happens? Your smile turns upside down but you are trying to be sensitive to at least the thought of it…you simply conclude the thought doesn’t even count! You would have rather him picked flowers out of garden box outside your home. Even that is great effort so maybe even that would be better than anything!
Another example: you don’t have any sprinkles for your delish cupcakes. Would you go get tiny plastic super colorful beads to decorate them? Of course not! Maybe you are saying, ‘Cal, bad example. You would never eat plastic beads.’ Exactly, you should never serve Bacos…
Don’t make me continue. Please, dear friend, never ruin a side dish or meal with Bacos…simply stay away. Please.
Okay, I just reprimanded some of you, so now I should add something so you don’t leave empty handed. Here is a recipe to add crunch and salt to a dish without ever plastic-ing and MSG-attacking your food:
Old bread (or fresh, whatever)
Sea salt (because it is chunky)
Pinch of olive oil (since you can’t pinch oil make it a couple teaspoons)
Pepper (to taste)
Paprika (to taste- you don’t even need this…it just adds the REAL color of red for those who are cold-turkey-ing off of that awful Ba—-…oh, I can’t even say it.)
Now, take that bread and crumbly crumb it up. Put it in a bowl, mix it with all the other ingredients. Spread the mix in a cookie sheet. Put it in the oven (at 350 for 20mins) and mark it with an “H” for HUMANITY and me!

Love you much 😉

Got some alternatives? Share!

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My morning read of this book solidified my anguish. Miss Marjorie would never advise to go out and buy something completely processed when you can make something simple at home with what you already have. Double whammy: eat real food and save money! Who wants to do that?! I know you do too…

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3 comments on “Never Ever Use Bacos

  1. theresa jackson
    March 16, 2012

    Callen,
    Wow! I love your rant and your rave! No Bacon here sweetie only the real stuff. Can you believe it was 7.99 a package at the grocery store just yesterday? I just put a fuss and didn’t muss with it!
    I love you and look forward to vacation with the all the Dilts!!

    Your Momma

  2. Leslie
    November 24, 2014

    So judgmental! I’m vegetarian, but love the taste of bacon. So I will eat all the bacos I want. Unless you literally never eat any processed foods at all then it hypocritical to judge something that is so small. My bacos consumption for a year probably is less harmful than a single Big Mac.

    • camandcal
      November 24, 2014

      Leslie, eat bacos until your heart content! I just tend to have strong opinions about certain things…take them or leave them. Eat what you want.

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This entry was posted on March 16, 2012 by in Food Snob.
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Cam & Cal

Livin' the C^2 Dream

emilykeepshouse

Adventures and accidents in cookery and keeping house.

raudette

food. fashion. frenchies.

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